Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Randomize
