i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
