I want to have your abortion
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
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