Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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