I must be too annoying 4 u.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Randomize
