Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
Is it because I queefed?
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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