The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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