I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
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