I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
