I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
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