No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize
