You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
