i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
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