I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Randomize
