they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Randomize
