the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
