why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
