Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
Randomize
