$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
im calling her cock vulture from now on
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
