it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
