glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
i dont even know how to be here
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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