I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
