You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
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