did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Randomize
