JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
