you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
