I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
