We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
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