Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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