So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
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