Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Randomize
