Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Randomize
