no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
Life is so much better after having sex.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
