I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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