And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Alive.
So much puke
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
