Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
She bit a glass in half.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
It's not a walk of shame if you run
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Randomize
