As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
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