She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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