I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
