I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
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