There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
