No awkward lesbian experiences without me
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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