That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
