It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Randomize
