forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
