I wanna bring you to show and tell
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Randomize
