Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
She tied me up with her honor cords...
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Randomize
