Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
