whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
