I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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