hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize