1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Randomize
