The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
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