All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
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