I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
