i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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